Today

I met up with Min Chi, Zhi Qian and Sen Hua today. The last time I actually saw them them (except Min Chi) was almost 5 years. We had an amazing time and I had 3 cups of drinks. Hot chocolate, Cranberry Crush and I-Dont-Know-What-Is-That drink(Sen Hua recomended) but it was pretty nice. Cheap and exquisite XD

Shopped at Mid Valley and The Gardens for Zhi Qian's prom dress. Its quite amazing how me and Michi can maintain such a strong friendship in spite the fact that we barely see each other. Let's just say we are lucky and she is the first person i trust without a doubt. Strong bond and lucky that we have each other. We can back each other up and even magically appear when the other need the other. We know each other's family well. And I tell her things that nobody will imagine me having in mind. I know Jarrett must be burning if he read this because he always thinks he is #1. But you are my #1 gay friend? 7 years of friendship is impossible and amazing for most people. I am very sure that she will still be around for many years to come. And I am happy about what I have.

The entire high school life I made a lot of amazing people who changed my persona deep inside. I am still that crazy, cheerful and impossible to handle VyVyan. But i had learn a lot of good qualities of life. Like how to soldier up when things happen and how to clear my mind to stop thinking about something bad. Who to tell and Who not to tell. I made mistakes and that is what makes me human. The main things is i learn from them and make sure it will not happen any longer.

I had an amazing time today.

*sign off

True Meaning of Christmas

Just an hour ago I was still assuming Christmas is all bout fireworks, Log cakes with thick chocolate icing, yearly volcano ice-cream, and tonnes of shopping. Not forgetting hours of parties accompanied by the exquisite taste of wine burning your throat. That was christmas and I am very sure most of you had plans that involved partying or spending time shopping or drooling over the christmas tree with your presents.

I was strolling in the mall doing my window shopping while clinging on to my daddy. Later i saw this serene atmosphere with white christmas trees around a dancing ballerina and a unicorn. Something drawn me towards the little heart-shaped cards and I just snapped. All of you must be wondering what is that? What is so special? Let me tell you that those are wishes of the unfortunate. Those wishes they asked for was simple and sincere. At least most of them. Story books, Clothes, Shoes, Remote control car, diapers, and Bible. Look at us kids nowadays. A 3 year old screaming the head off for an I-Pad. Girls running on designer heels but still sulked because they dont have a Louis Vuitton. What is this people? Be grateful for what you have and with that i knew what is the true meaning of christmas.

Christmas is about spending your time with your family, appreciating what you have and thanking god. So people, the main purpose I am writing this is because I seriously hope that you will help. Just simply wrap your present and place it in the gift box. People need help. Stop being so selfish and blind because Christmas is all about awareness and kindness. Help the one in need. This action might seem small and ridiculous but believe me this is a life changing experience. Be grateful of your life and be happy that you still have your family. Appreciate them eventhough sometimes they might seem annoying.

Merry Christmas everyone

*sign off

Faith

Things always happens for a reason. Something i hold on to. I am tired to death but would refuse to close my eyes as i know that this will bring back memories that might made me feel bad about myself about us. We had it all. The only thing we do quarrel is whether the somatic cell or part of the plant that should be cultured or whether monkey have a dip in a hot spring. Its sad to come and think of it that such a perfect relationship that is feel of faith and trust will end up in a trash. A guy who made me forget about the past and had truely accepted me and my mistakes as we were best of friends. But we decided to wake up to reality as we know, no matter what, this will not happen. As we always are we will put on a strong face and walk away. We will not want to breakdown in front of each other to make things worst. People will think, why can't both of you head to the same college, same university and than get married. I would laugh because things are not just that simple. To face the fact, we might never be able to see each other anymore. Why? Because we know love is not everything. Because we understand what each other wants. Because we are not selfish to destroy the other's dream just because of our hedonistic actions. And most importantly we love each other enough to accept that the timing ain't right. We are to young to decide who we will spend the rest of our life with but too old to stay in our own fairytale story. But i know as we move on we will look back at the time we had together as aquintance, friends, amigos than lovers. So this chapters ends here. As usual i was stuck with myself with my own thoughts and tears. Its only normal. I stared at the tv but my mind was going through this flashbacks. The pain is simply the worst because we know we have it, but its just the timing ain't right.

I tried to call to open myself up to the pain, to clear my mind, to feel like i have someone else since my rock is brutally snatched away. But sadly i was left aside with further disapointment. I cried again for being quite lonely in my own world than i started hating everyone in the world. It suddenly struck me that i am loosing myself again and i stood up and started scribbling reasons and the positive side in this story. Some reasons are superficial but its better than nothing right? And I felt better bout myself. I have to be strong for him, for myself, for my family and most importantly for my future. This small decisions i made is just part of those bitter moment i am about to face. Its true love is everything but just no that kind of love. I still have the love from myself, the love from my family, the love from my Best Friend who contacted me right away as usual (you know who you are girl. 7 years of friendship) and the love from God. I am never a superstitious girl but i am a believer. And with that, a pinch of smile and a handful of faith i know i am fine. Though the pain is still there but i will live. Pain is part of growing. Because with this experience i know who is the real friends are and who will automatically vanish during the hard time.

I still have our picture. In fact its at the wall paper, i will change it when im ready. I still have our name the moment i on my phone. Hey, this seems crazy but nobody is perfect right? If you are reading this, be strong. Things always happen for a reason and every cloud have a silver lining. I love you. And now i will still be able to love you as a friend. Things aint that bad.

I am Chew Vy Vyan. I am 17, going to be 18 the next month. I am not the prettiest girl in the world or The Girl. I am the Vy Vyan who is full of flaws. I am the Vy Vyan who gets into problem all the time. I am the Vy Vyan who still believe in love. I am the Vy Vyan who had just broken up. I am the short, chubby Vy Vyan and yes, I am JUST Vy Vyan. I am the Vy Vyan who believe that just have a little faith and everything will be just fine. I just know it :)

*sign off

What I Had learned In This 17 years

I still remember how things were and how much things had changed.
I remember when i was a kid the future is what am i going to do for my next playtime.
I will be running around my garden with my dog singing the theme song of the sound of musics. The time when i got so emerged into a book talking about elfs, talking rabbits and princess with her prince charming. I believed that this will exist somewhere. I had this imaginary friend playing with me. I even had an imaginary dolphin who will come to me in every boring classes. I would stand straight and a faint 'bad' from my teacher will bring me the tears. When being a prefect is a huge dream. When i would talk to me plush toy until the middle of the night. I would sneak in my room to see if my toys had come alive (as it always happen in the storybook). When i hated pink and dresses. My knees were full of scab and when i would tell my mum everything. I used to sit and day dream bout my life in a huge white castle and hoping that maybe i am a princess in Faraway Land. I used to hug my puppy and kiss him. I used to climb pass the gate without taking the consequences. I used to run round and round while screaming my lungs out. I would never care about the extra pound in my stomach and would do my very best to please everyone by getting great grades. I used to study so much because i was brought up by successfully graduated parents. I wanted to be just like them. I was proud of them. I was never rational. The only complicated thing for me is what should i dress my doll. Pink shiny dress or maybe the blue one. That was my life when i was naive and simple.

Than i started to grow. I found out that santa was a fantasy and scars do not appear physically only. I found out that my life was pretty empty. I was this silly and vain teenager always up to something dangerous. Hating every part of my life. Thinking nobody would understand me. I would go around trying to be someone i am not comfortable with to make girls envy me. With those stuff that were merely important. I would easily trust anyone who acts like they understand. I hated those person who were true to me. I closed my door and not allow my family in. I would lock myself in my room, my own world, because i was an idiot thinking that my parents do not understand or even love me. So i tend to get those guys to love me but i found out i was even more depressed than ever.

Those was when i was stupid and idiotic. I was disapointed in myself. Really disapointed with myself. Now i Love my life. i love my family. The only one that will love me sincerely is just my family. I would try to be a better person. I am amazing. I am beautiful from deep down. yes, thinks might screw up. But i know what is my goal. I will try to be successful and i know throughout my journey in life i will have my family's support and that is the most important think ever. I have a great life because i looked deeper and i am very sure you can too.

-xoxo-
VyVyan

I just Dont wanna grow up and I am totally not ready for it

I know i am 17 when i am writing this but time is passing toooooo fast.

I mean everything is changing. My nephew is growing up WAY fast and he can now play angry birds on all Apple devices SO much better than me. Pfft. SHow off. I just digested the fact that know how to walk with his help of his walker. i dont want him to grow up. at his age he did not let me kiss him without his a handphone in my hand. He outgrown his nursery rhymes and sang along to songs that i HAVEN even heard about *sobs* But he is a joy in my life. I just dont like to see him grow. i m getting worry bout what will he grow up to. those influence. bad influence. i watched what i say.
Ps. he once said suck after i said that. On the spot. i felt stars in my throat and swore never to say anthing bad in front of him
HE CALLED ME STUPID when i refused to let him drag My SNOWY on the floor. sobs... i mean snowy is white. He cant... PFFFFFttttt... forget it. i am still crazy over his and his beatiful gold locks which i like to plant my head into... sobs... tears

OMFG... I cant remember the last time i actually blogged but now i just simply feel like it and I am just going to sum up everything that happen to me before i tell bout what is on my mind on the next post.

Lets see... screwed my exam.. very badly.. position in class is nerve breaking. C'mon... i got an excuse for my position in class which almost come up last. im surrounded by braniacs everywhere. I mean i am proud of myself that my last minute study had kicked some of the origins from the alpha class but i am sure they clacked more than me because i know they are SMART..

so lessons learned. Aint gonna screw up my exam and i will study hard.. You continue the next sentence and so on...

Got super caught up with Shirtliff and the most members are killing me by making jarrett and I go class by class to blackmail them. i mean come one guys. If you dont wanna get screwed than just show your face. Simple and easy. Not blabbing i mean i have to study or what so ever too righto? so what ever excuse is not acceptable unless u got killed or run down by a car. Ill talk to your parents because i am a student. i know the trick of "My Mummy dont let..." (ps. your mummy tell you not to get into a relationship or study 24/7. You are not doing it and spending time reading me blabs... pffffffft...)surat amaran it is for those people who continue skipping. And YES i and BLACKMAILING you people to come. I will kill you personally and curse you to get run down by thousands lorries and a bulldozer. And the finale which result death is a tricycle ran over you. YES i am evil. so dont make me. COME FOR YOUR MEETINGs. i am darn serious. thought not the killing part. i love you guys too much. *evil smirk*

NEXT POST NEXT DISCUSSION

My life these few days

Frankly i really enjoy myself...
Really really enjoy myself...
Alpha is great. Yes. I said it. Its definitely lots more fun than beta. No offence. I get to mix around a lot and made tonnes of real friends. Notes to andrew, natalie and cheng kuan. my new buddies in alpha. Dont worry, not forgetting tze jie, niren and jarrett :)

So there are many rumours going around saying im either with andrew or tze jie or even jarrett. Let me make it clear and sweet and also simple.

Chew Vyvyan is Single (but not available)

If the rumours still go on there is nothing i can do.

These few days i saw my brother sean. Love his new hairstyle. and made my day...

was thinking bout what faiz and niren said to me. They called me a strong a tough girl. Yes. I cry all the time. But i always smile when i cry saying i am fine. I even always act like nothing is wrong after i cry because i put it aside. I hold on to the main goal of my life. Straight A+. Yes. I got a lot tougher. I cried a lot lesser because i eliminated the torn and idiot in my heart. true it hurts a lot when it was removed. But not it healed. the scab is still here. But i feel a lot better.

I got so many better choices now but i am putting it on hold. But i am not going to play though sometimes i joke about it. Im not thinking bout anythg other than spm. So my life is great. Im still as perfect as usual. I still have my killer dimpled smile. Everything in my life is going right

*sign off

Rebecca Black?

Okay guys... Yes, people tend to hate her... yes.. her singing is not pleasant to the ears. or maybe she dont look as hot as Angelina Jolie or Lady Gaga...

But who are you to comment about her. Can you do what she is doing?
What is happening to the poor girl now is cyber bully. I know all of you tend to click the dislike button. But that button can ruin her life. Have all of you ever think how that poor girl feel if you click that small button? What if you are her?

Cyber bully had become a huge problem. Yes i laughed at her. And i felt guilty for it. And i am saying sorry to her. she aint that bad. at least she got the guts. Do u have half of her guts?

Nobody is perfect people. she might not be slender or sizzling hot. but are u?

So people when u start criticising people who didnt even do anythg to hurt you emotionally, stop and think. Because that is such a fake.

THe people who like aint any better. She is not doing a good job with the lyrics seriously so why dont you just view, have a good shock and just leave it without any likes or dislikes.

*sign off

BEST V-day eva!!!!

Egypt stop shooting each other
Exam (ps. to keep me busy and not rmb i m another looser without a valentine)
and... errr.. bc its monday..

And people... *notes to Tze Jie* Aresnal won over wolves... How the hell an anti Football fan like me know? Thanks to gary... ISH!!!!!
The fell name called Van dunno what scored and thanks to Gary again...

So people.. I am glad to tell all of you reader that my Valentine for V-day is me and my physics book.. HAHA... Ya... and i'm happy for that.. I just don't know why... Some how newton's law is more romantic than all guys... HeHe...
The way the Snell's Law carress me with the sin rules and the total internal reflection slowly kiss me on the cheek... PERFECTO!!!!!!
And when the Bernouli's law stained on my mind throughout the night telling me the rules. And the formula stuck to my heart being true to me...


OK!!!! i am freaking myself out...... scary...

And the Group of Indians continue to complain about the Interlok... They even created a group to ban it. I mean WTH?! And say we can't interprete such deep meaning... what's deep in it?
It is a real story about our past. Reveal us to the truth and we won't make the mistake again. An d i'm serious...
Frankly when i read that i feel like i love my country double the amount and thats the truth. it proves how much our country went through before it some to this...
I'm serious..... So far it is the best novel i read and it is 1000000 times better compare to papa... that book is the suckiest book ever... i feel ;ike slapping Jefri...
screw him!!!!!

ok... gtg ppl...

<3 you guys

Sign off

Though i screwed up my swimming but I don't expect much when i jump into the pool and swam like i am warming up. I am just trying to start my engine for mssmkl.. To get prepare to not loose that badly actually. I just suck that badly. And of cause to go there and give a full moral support.

First day
nothing happen much... Frankly i don't really remember much.

Second day
sat almost the entire day with my little seaney :)
Because he was emo-ing for his 100 free...
You will definately do below 1 minute so no worries because you train hard and no one is blind. But i HATE your silent treatment.
Once i reached home a fell on my bed and sleep dead til the next morning.
GOSH!!!

Third day
This is counted as the best day.
Adeline bought her DXLR and we snap pictures like crazy. And we were comparing the color of my hair. Its really brown. i still think its the lighting effect. Than i took her camera and be my lil seaney's paparazzi.... AAHAHAHAHA... his reaction was so freaking slow... i snapped more than 3 pictures only he start blocking. Don't worry. you look as hawt as usual :)
And my bro improved on his 400 free and he smiled like crazy. felt great. I was biting my nails when i saw him swim. scared he screwed up and he start emo-ing and somehow i gotta suffer...
And kimberly got pushed into the water... Felt so sorry when she was asking for leftover clothes. She asked for innies and i was like stand up and say hold on... I'll take out and let you wear (just jokn anyways)
And when we were having break, we saw this whole group of KLASS kids dancing right opposite us... cheap publisities...

Great day and cnt wait for mssmkl...

*sign off*

My Birthday Party

It was a rap!!!!
The food is not that nice... seriously sucky but who cares because we had LOTS of fun!But the process aint a bit fun.
Starting from yesterday there is so many ppl last minute calling me to ask me about directionS!!!! before that they said they know! Nevermind. Than on the party day i my phone battery went flat in one day time. Because my phone was actually hot from all the calling and i am on three phones at a time. Imagine that. so It was very hectic but after that all things turn out great.

The first one who arrived was Crystal and Skye. Than Natalie, Jarrett and Thinesh, than Andrew, than MIN CHI and Jeremy and etc etc...

As for my bro, Sean, he came around 7 and everything was like getting better! :)
Gave my bro his Little present which sucked up more than half of my savings.
But its worth is... Just once a year so COME ON!!!!

Soooo... we start of with the husband and wife game...
And yes... with Beer...
if only i knew i wont be drying up at least one can before this... GOSH!!!
so yes... Because the overprotective sis and friend dont allow Sean, Nixon and Skye to drink i have to suck up and drink for them...
The beginning Sean was my husband but because of him not being alert I got snatched by My GOR, Kean loong just like that and yes... i drank a big gulp for him... Than he got a new wife but loose her/him again and yes drink. And Skye who lost almost all the time and yes drink again. Lucky my bro Nixon was alert and yes! no need to drink for him... Than after that Sean snatched me back from my Gor again... No failure... As we switched, someone snatched Sean away from me and drink. And people keep snatching my wife so i actually drank again... So alas i decided to snatch Sean back and blackmail him with if YOU run away from me than your sis have to drink so ended up we teamed up and he slow react lemme catch him before he run off :)
Love You BRO!!!!

But by the time we switched to the next game i am BURNING hot... My whole body was hot and Nixon quickly got my some water so that his Sis can cool down... But i cnt stand for a second game as my head was getting heavy.... So i went into my house to snap some pictures with my brothers... :)

You should look at Sean's and Nixon look... they are so freaking worried and i don't know why its so freaking funny... They keep touching my forehead and hand and was like keep telling me that your whole body is freaking hot... But who cares because its a party and yes... alas both of them stop worrying... But Jarrett got a lil worry because i got high on alcohol and i went crazier than what Vyvyan is... i took ice and put it into Jarrett shirt... haha!!!! Should see his look... Than Sean askes me to drink tonnes of water and wash my face... And i am back on track. But i let go a lot so whatever i have in my mind i jus either said it or did it...

Everything was great... The party was great... the presents were great...
Sean Gave me a soft toy that looks exactly like him... I stared at it and it actually freaks me out in a good way because both of them look so alike... And he gave me his bracelet that he wore all the time he went out... so basically its the best presents.
Other ppl's present ill keep it low bc i know most of them don't like me telling everyone about their presents. Nat gave me a book Bout Mars and Venus on a date, write of Man are from Mars, Woman are from Venus... Really considerate of her but i don't need it now... I'll use it after SPM!!!! Love you girl...

So i had a blast of a time... :)

*signing off while smiline

My birthday present list

My birthday is coming and i seriously wish my parents see this...
I wont want much but this :-

*A pink or black ROXY bikini (Parents)
*A neon red or neon pink Swatch (Mummy is buying!)
*Something that reminds me of you. Maybe with your name(Sean)
*A freaking hot boyfriend with aps and a drop dead gorgeous smile
*Something really meaningful (i don't care bout price)
*Expensive Liquor that i can keep in my room to drink right after SPM

Stuff that i Know YOU people will get me thats why im writing this :-
*Condoms... You know who you are. And im stopping you this moment because it aint funny
*A Tong.. I mean people... COME ON!!!! if i want it i will buy it!!!
*D-cup bra. (bryan lee... i will screw u hard if that idea even pop up in your mind, Nt funny at all!!!
*Adult toys... People(SBU).... yes, you are that horny and i will kill you. talk bout it ok... Buy as present ill kick you out of my house

Went to Boulevard hotel at Wild Rice for our annual Lunchie...

And it is freaking fun...

Just saw my Bro and he kept his promise... :)

Got myself a diary and Jeremy gave me a JUSTIN BIEBER CD for my bday present...

People!!! Try topping the present k?!!!!

And sean... I did keep my promises k? Next time don't go back earlier than your sis...

and i realised something, my bro's hand is so much bigger than mine... its like exactly two portion bigger... And his feet is so much bigger than mine...

What happen to my small, shorter than me and chubby bro... Nevermind, at least now i have a lil bro who acts like my big bro... And stick up for me...

ps. stuck like glue yea

So basically it is like the BEST day of 2011 thanks to Sin Sin, Jeremy, Megan and of cause and Lovely lil bro Sean <3

Cant wait for my party and Jeremy if you are reading this, yes bring beer... Than we can play our game and get drunk!!!

YEAH MAN!!! My bro will be there so i don't have to worry bout anything... He will take care of his drunk sis...

And if the bastard is reading this... Yes... I am enjoying a hell lot about my life... I rather love my bro than loving you... Waste my time... Im neutral now... The only one i fall for is myself... I LOve myself... *muax to myself*